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Chapter 19I walk home, not making eye contact with anyone and feeling stupid. Iam stupid. I can't believe I thought this was going to work, that Iwas any good, that Scott gave a shit about me. That any of them gave ashit about me.Just another failure of Kevin Daly to add to the list: Collegedropout, failed actor, failed boyfriend crap schoolteacher, failedactor again. It all feels so pointless, so silly now. No matter howhard I tried no one was fooled anyway, not really. Or I wasn't given achance. Fuck Ellen for asking me to do this, and fuck her for tellingChalmers I was a fake. Fuck her for not having any confidence in me.Fuck her for coming home and ruining everything.I don't feel any better by the time I get home. I just brush pastIain, ignoring his questions, take off my shoes and sit on my bed andcry some more. What the fuck do I do now?"Ellen!" I hear the voice faintly. Is it my imagination? "Ellen!" Itsounds like it's coming from outside. I get up off the bed and openthe. “Harder, faster,” L says between breaths. “Fuck me like you have not had pussy in a year.”My hands shake with frustration. I want to be free. I need to either get to the bedroom or touch myself. The lover’s noises suggest he will cum soon. I want to cum with him. It would be perfect to shoot my load at the same time as fills L’s vagina.“Cum for me, baby. Shoot your hot load deep inside me. I want to feel your seed,” L begs her lover.There is a long, low groan that can only mean the stud fulfils L’s demands. I hear their bodies collapse onto the bed. They are both panting. Their kisses are wet and breathless.“That was great,” L says.“You were great too. I love how eager you are.”“You have such a great cock, how can I not love it.”“You are such a sweet slut.”There is more kissing before L tells her lover that it is time for him to leave. He protests, but L knows how to make men do her bidding. The guy is told to let himself out. I can hear L is still in the bedroom. Both of us listen to.
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